…and He is US!”, Pogo. We’ve all heard that we are our own dilemma, change comes from within, we make our own problems, etc. in My case this is more than evident. Had a bit of an ongoing epiphany lately that I”m trying to combine incompatible elements. I’ve always liked the way, in the 1960’s,unconventional that unconventional and iconoclastic people had legitimacy. The era of the anti-hero. Being an impressionable youth at the time I aspired to mimic the behavior to gain the same results. But like any experiment, the conditions must be duplicated to achieve the same results. Oops. Our fickle friend time with it’s constant march forward is constantly changing the rules of the game. Trying to embrace an accepted anti-hero persona has caused unattainable goals, and I’ve created an unachievable objective.
I’m not talking about the romanticism involved in dreaming an impossible dream, I’m talking psychology. I need to stop self censoring, to not worry about how I appear, or wether the work I create will be acceptable in the art world. I need to focus on just making it ( like I said a few posts back).
My honest dilemma revolves around not having a role model, It’s much easier to be an early adopter than a trail blazer. I tend to be a alter-mimic, I mimic something but just tweak it a bit and make it my own. Which is counter intuitive to my basic belief in authenticity, how can I be authentic if I’m in essence copying someone. The artistic equivalent to a cover band. I know of two artists who do so, one just flat out steals the style the other apprenticed and is under influence of the alleged master. I’ve found this may work on a local or regional scale, but knowledgeable gallerists ( art dealer), and curators tend to turn their noses up at such work. Then I’m making an assumption here. I’m assuming that these artists are trying to be original. Maybe they are not, maybe they are finding artistic solace in expression of imitation of technique. Which is OK, for they are not the first nor the last to do so.
The choice is obvious, I’ll be the unlikable anti-hero, the scathing social commentator, the art curmudgeon. I feel my path leads to the city of Authenticity. No matter how difficult or frustrating the path. Perhaps that should be the subject the Authentic City. If you find where it is please let me know, oh wait look it’s right here, I just had my thumb on the map covering it!
